I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
