sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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