Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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