I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
