Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
