White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize