I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
