My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
