Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize