If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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