so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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