i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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