Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
