You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
