Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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