I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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