Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
