Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my shit smells like andre
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
