speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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