Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
