One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
