that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
