we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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