dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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