Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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