I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
