Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
