He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
