I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
