thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk is a universal language darling
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
