Pregnant stripper...not hot.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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