I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
