It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
