Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
