She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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