I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize