Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
