are you still at the devil's house?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
