I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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