living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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