You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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