wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
