i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
