dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
