He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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