I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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