I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You took a bar mat shot.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
