Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
