whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
