You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
two words: eviction party
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
