Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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