I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
