break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
