all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
