So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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