i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
