they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
