Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
