The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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