just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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