no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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