Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
