I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
