so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
